One word.
One word was all it took to fan an already existing flame.
A flame already burning from so many embers of inaction and fueled by hate and the insecurities of others.
One word caused years of torment and left wounds that even today are still healing.
One word.
Hollywood.
Meet Aimee. Instead of being consumed by the fire, she took the embers fueled by hate which were meant to harm her and she used them to blaze her own path.
What you might notice about Aimee at first glance is her physical strength. What you will know about Aimee after you read her story is that her outward physical strength comes from years of first developing inner strength. Strength that was developed in times of isolation, exclusion, fear, and loneliness.
Aimee’s story will teach you that nothing can destroy you unless you allow it to.
Aimee is a living, breathing testimony of persevering despite the cruelty of others. Aimee teaches us that YOU decide your future.
Call her slow she will be fast.
Tell her she’s stupid and she will study harder.
Tell her she’s not included in your group and she will boldly seek out those who will include her.
Tell her she’s weak and she will show you she’s strong.
She has done so much in her life already and continues to achieve great things but none of her present day would have happened if she had chosen at any time to give up because of the years of emotional and physical abuse she endured at the hands of her classmates and the school leaders who were suppose to protect her.
If Aimee had chosen to give up and not hold on for her future or if she had listened to the lies of others her story could have ended in tragedy. If she had not made a decision each and every morning to keep going she would not have graduated high school and she would not have gone on to earn BS and Master of Science degrees. She would not be a two time Ironman finisher and four time half Ironman finisher. She would not have run multiple marathons, including a grueling 48.6 mile challenge. She would not have completed numerous spartan races and accumulated medal after medal. If Aimee would have given up she would not have achieved a black belt in taekwando or earned a second place finish at the world championship. If she had listened to the lies others told her, she would have never discovered her gifts as a soccer player and would have never been a four year college soccer starter, obtained a #1 NCAA national ranking, made two NCAA appearances or accomplished an Elite 8 NCAA finish. Aimee would not have made first team all conference and all state. If Aimee had chosen to give up, she would have never been inducted into the 2005 NCAA Athletic Hall of Fame but Aimee stayed the course and never gave up.
It was because Aimee chose to persevere that others were also impacted by her talents. Lives were impacted while she coached soccer at Valparaiso University as a Grad Assistant. Lives were impacted through her involvement as part of the Olympic Development Program Region II staff. She shared her talents as Portage HS girls head soccer coach leading her team to a final four finish and was awarded the honor of Indiana big schools coach of the year. Aimee also impacted the world when she represented the United States while playing soccer in Holland where she also had the distinct honor of holding the American Flag while the national anthem played before the final game against England. This was all from a girl who tried out all four seasons for her high school soccer team and only made the team her senior year.
If Aimee would have listened to the many people who told her she was ugly and not worthy of love, she would have never met her amazing husband who not only is an accomplished athlete himself, but a wonderful husband and father to their two amazing kids.
If Aimee had chosen to let herself be defined by the negative names others gave her she would never have had the opportunity to use her gifts of perseverance, strength, and grit to excel professionally in her career in medical device sales for the past seventeen years; earning a #1, #7, and #16 national ranking.
She did ALL this despite being relentlessly and ruthlessly bullied her entire school career.
If you are reading this, look at Aimee and know this could also be your one day but you must hang on!
Aimee shows you that you can not only survive the hate of others, you can rise above it and become the most beautiful version of yourself but you must make a decision every day to keep going.
HANG ON! You are worth it!!
To understand the unbelievable strength of Aimee Rhame you also need to also understand the depth of heartache she endured during her school years.
Aimee was born with congenital ptosis. You can read more about this diagnosis here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5338973/
Starting at a very young age, Aimee endured multiple grafting and face surgeries to fix the disfigurement the disease caused. This included bilateral facial slings (her eyelids were sewn open to her forehead because she had no levater muscles). Add to all of this an attack by a neighbors dog which caused further damage to her face and you will understand that at a very young age Aimee learned to persevere and fight.
Despite all of these obstacles early in life, and even with the trauma of the dog attack, before Aimee entered school she never felt like she was different or ugly. Her parents worked hard to not only provide financially, but emotionally as she endured surgery after surgery. They intentionally built her confidence while never making her feel different. Even at the point in Aimee’s young life when she was without sight for three months, she remained hopeful and strong.
This all changed the moment she stepped on the bus in first grade.
Her self-worth was now in the hands of others, and they were cruel . The safety she felt at home, and even in the hospital was replaced with fear. The strength she gained while enduring hours of painful surgeries was stripped away, taking the fearless girl inside her with it.
The names started that first day: Dog eyes. Jet eyes. Deformed. The name calling continued relentlessly. Aimee was ridiculed and excluded on a daily basis from that day forward. Being excluded from classroom birthday parties, sitting alone in the lunchroom, having her face glued to a desk, and having her face violently scrubbed by a teacher were all part of her school experiences, all leading up to an insult and a name that stuck with her for the rest of her school career: Hollywood.
Because of her diagnosis of congenital petosis Aimee suffered from photophobia (extreme sensitivity to light). Both sunlight and fluorescent lights caused pain for Aimee and to lessen its impact she oftentimes would wear sunglasses to shield her eyes. For Aimee, it was necessary and not becuase she thought she was cool or more important than others. Although this wasn’t the first time she was made fun of for wearing sunglasses, it was the first time it was an adult doing it.
It was the reason she would endure even more hate, exclusion and torment.
One word said by an adult. A role model, coach, and someone who her peers looked to for guidance.
This one word was like gasoline to the flame her peers had already ignited during their own years of calling her horrible names. Except in this moment an adult sent the message that it was ok to make fun of Aimee. It gave validity to the way they had been treating her since first grade. As soon as an adult spoke it in front of her classmates it spread fast and furious, unable to be contained, and this one word continued to burn her over and over again for the rest of her school career.
The name followed her onto the bus, onto the soccer field, into the stands at football games, to the mall and anywhere her peers were gathered.
It followed her into the classroom and it even followed her to a brand new school she ran to trying to escape it. It was not only the word Hollywood, but the hurtful way it was said and the relentless repetition of it.
What happened to Aimee is horrible, but the fact that it was fueled by an adult makes it even more tragic.
An adult took her greatest weakness and the reason kids already made fun of her and attached a name to her in a negative and demeaning way. Making the assumption and the horrible mistake that Aimee was wearing sunglasses to make herself look important, like she belonged in Hollywood.
This adult showed her classmates that it was ok to hurt her. It was ok to take the weakness of another person and make it a game. It was a name that from that point was the fuel on the fire that would continue to burn her in every way.
One word.
Years of torment. Started by her peers, fueled by an adult.
Words do hurt. Don’t let anyone tell you they don’t.
When we think of bullying we think of kids being mean to one another, and Aimee’s story certainly teaches us that is true, but Aimee’s story also shows us that adults can be bullies too.
The abuse Aimee endured from the adults in her school didn’t start with this coach,it started with all of the teachers who looked the other way as she was being ridiculed. It continued when a teacher glued her face to a desk while her classmates watched. It continued when a teacher drug her into the bathroom assuming the bruises on her face were makeup, never asking Aimee who would have told her they were from a recent surgery, and began scrubbing Aimee’s face as her classmates sat in their seats. It continued when her coach, thinking he was funny, called her Hollywood in a degrading and demeaning display in front of her classmates. Every one of these incidents by adults sent the message to her peers that their own taunts were justified and acceptable.
However, the biggest lesson we can learn from Aimee’s story is not how cruel people can be. It’s not even about the damaged hearts of others, or all the adults that failed her, but the beauty of Aimee’s story and it’s biggest lesson is her sheer determination to rise above it all!
The name calling.
The exclusion.
The embarrassment.
The lack of empathy.
It all could have ruined her.
Aimee’s story could have turned out so differently but she made a choice. Not a single choice, but a choice every single day to rise above and keep going.
Aimee shows us all that words hurt. They are not forgotten but words that are meant to harm you only have the value you decide to give them.
Aimee knows that now, and it is the reason she has so bravely agreed to share her story. Aimee wants every person out there who feels like giving up becuase of the cruel words of others to know that.
You must rise above the hate not for them but for YOU!
She wants to save you from all the heartache you might be experiencing because of a name someone else has given you.
Fat. Stupid. Slut. Nerd. Retarded. Dog Eyes. And yes, even Hollywood.
Aimee wants you to know that only you can define who you are to others. Words hurt and they last, but the words are only given value if you decide to place it there.
Aimee is choosing now to be brave. To rise above the negative story of her past and to take those words that were meant to hurt her and burn them into a pile of ash, leaving only smoke as a reminder of the strength she gained because of them.
Be you.
Be strong and courageous.
Be bold and daring
Be successful.
Be like Aimee.
One day you will see every ember of hate that was meant to consume you will be a heap of ash that simply made way for every good and perfect spark that happened as a result.
Let Aimee’s sparks and not the anguish of her past remind you that your own future includes love, success and a happy life.
Hang on!
You will be so happy you did.
Aimee’s sparks:
Ironman Triathlete ( 2x Finisher & 1/2 Ironman Finisher).
Marathon runner, including 48.6 mile challenge.
Spartan Race Competitor.
Four year starter NCAA college soccer.
Four NCAA National Championship appearances.
NCAA #1, #9, #11 national soccer ranking.
NCAA Athletic Hall of Fame soccer inductee.
College First Team All-Conference and All-Ohio.
High school Most Improved Player Award.
High School Starter winning Conference and Regionals.
Black belt TaeKwonDo.
2000 World TaeKwonDo Championships 2nd and 3rd place Finisher.
Valparaiso University D1 Graduate Assistant.
Indiana State University D1 Assistant Coach.
US Olympic Development Program Region ll Staff.
Regional Development Team starter playing International level representing United States.
Portage High School Varsity Head soccer Coach.
Indiana Final Four Finisher and Indiana’s Big Schools Coach of the Year.
Career in Medical Device Sales earning #1, #7 and # 16 National finishes as well as multiple Presidents Club, Chairmans Club, Elite Club, and Prestige Club Award winner.
United States and International Sales Trainer.
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Your One Day 